The Sound of Silence

"I wish that when I am about to take my last breath, I do not utter syllables of pain but instead remain conscious, even in my unconsciousness. And as I lie down, within my own self, I see myself in the perfect mudra, chanting the sound of silence.”.. Sandy

There are countless forces that shape and influence the mood and experience of life for each of us. Reflecting on these as I have journeyed through the different stages of my own life, I see a tapestry woven with moments—some gentle, some harsh. From the days of my childhood to the twilight years I now live, every phase of life has carved its imprint on my soul.

As a boy, life was defined by school, teachers, lessons, and the pressures of exams. The thrill of picnics, the bond of cousins, the scolding that taught right from wrong—all seemed so crucial then. Back then, everything from hygiene to manners became life's paramount concerns, and they made or broke a day.

Then came the teenage years, a whirlwind of emotions, surging hormones, and endless possibilities. The world looked larger, the stakes higher. Adventures felt limitless. Perhaps you’ll recall your own excitement and the palpable energy coursing through your veins—these too shaped my conscious experience, my understanding of life’s possibilities and its hurdles.

When I became a young officer in the Army, everything changed. Rigorous training honed me into a fine gentleman, tempered with discipline and courage. Posted in far-flung areas, from the Indo-Pak border to the deserts of the Western theater, we faced innumerable challenges—some life-threatening, others mundane, but each one left its mark. The camaraderie of those days, the willingness to charge forward without hesitation, and the sense of duty—they all became the cornerstone of my existence. It was a new phase, a shift in focus where safety became secondary to the mission at hand.

Life as an Army officer wasn’t just about field postings. There were flood relief operations, train accidents where we pulled survivors from mangled wreckage, ropeway rescues, and the responsibility of national ceremonials—Republic Day, Independence Day, the grand Beating Retreat. I've seen it all. Thirty-five years of committed service, each day a lesson in resilience.

But life, it seems, moves in cycles. After the rigors of military life, there came a quieter, more personal battle—watching my father battle prostate cancer and my mother’s slow, painful decline due to age, diabetes, and the relentless issues that come with time. The hospital visits, treatments, remedies—it all feels like an endless list of helpless moments.

Through each stage, I’ve had distinct realizations. As children, the world outside dictates our happiness. As adults, our jobs and responsibilities define us. But as we age, life begins to turn inward. The outer world loses its grip, and our focus shifts to our health, our family, our inner being. Gone are the days of adventures with cousins or teenage rebellion; now, it’s about managing uric acid levels, diabetes, and the loneliness that creeps in when the children move far away. It’s at this stage when you begin to realize that all the indulgences—the wrong foods, the stress we take on—catch up with us. And the guilt is heavy.

But guilt should not be our final experience. My reason for sharing this today is simple—don’t let the burdens of life accumulate and ruin your last stages of existence. We are all different. Different genes, different upbringings, different challenges, and victories shape us.

At this point in life, when energy wanes and the outer world fades, we must embark on a spiritual journey. And by spiritual, I don’t mean religious. This is about learning to *just be*. To live in the present, to accept what is, and to let go of the past. It is this journey within that will ultimately see us through the toughest times.

To those reading this, whether you are young, in the prime of life, or retired like me, remember: life is not just the outer world’s stage. It is also about finding peace within. So, just be. Live each phase with presence and awareness, for that is what will carry you forward.

This is my message for you. I have 8.4K followers on Facebook, a small number in the vastness of the world, but if even a few of you hear me, perhaps that is enough.

Live consciously. Be kind to yourself. In the end, all we have is the journey within.